Forget her skin color, her hair color, her facial features, her height, and largely her weight. She is a Gestational Carrier and your child will have none of her DNA. What you should care about is what is in her heart, in her mind, her health and her lifestyle.
She has great health and carried her past pregnancies to term with uncomplicated deliveries. After all, the best indication of a future successful pregnancy and delivery is a successful past one. Her medical records from these past pregnancies will help determine if she will be a good Gestational Carrier. Her pregnancy is full of medical visits, and physical changes. As a surrogate, she could have additional complications from the egg implantation, the legal aspects, the various additional paperwork aspects and the questions needed to report to you. All good agencies will obtain medical records and have them reviewed in the early stages of screening to help your Gestational Carrier be ready.
Caring for a baby before it is even born is a strong maternal instinct. This can only mean she is motivated by altruism more than money. Money is always part of the equation if she is compensated. Our rule of thumb is that money should not be more than 20% of her decision to be a Gestational Carrier. This rule is based on our experience in screening thousands of candidates. Psychologists reject candidates who are overly interested in the money. Experience also tells us those really interested in the money do not comply with medical instructions nor keep their appointments as well as those more altruistic.
She has wanted to be a surrogate for more than 18 months. Psychology studies and our practical experience bear out deciding to be a surrogate and being committed is at least an 18 month process. Those women wanting to be a surrogate for longer times are the most committed. They best follow all the instructions given by medical practitioners such as taking all their prenatal vitamins. They also miss less appointments.
She has great family support. This aspect plays in for success on many fronts. The surrogate who feels well supported and understood is a happier surrogate. While an agency can support their surrogates, getting support from family means so much more. The more family support the better. Additionally, helping the surrogate with attending appointments where she should not drive is useful from family. Also in late stage pregnancy, and in the case of physician ordered bed rest, family support can be huge with childcare and housekeeping.
She has no job or only one that is low stress and not physically demanding. Having no job enables your surrogate to not have to worry about getting time off to attend the 25 or more appointments along her journey. Surrogacy is a hyper-managed pregnancy and has many more appointments than a regular pregnancy. Many employers are not keen to have their staff take so much time out. This is especially true if the baby is not that of the employee and she is being paid to carry the child.
Her children are old enough to take care of themselves. Child care can be taxing and stressful enough. Add in being in the last trimester of pregnancy and things can get even more burdensome. Therefore, it is helpful if her children are fairly self sufficient. Even better yet, they can help mom with household tasks.
She is well educated about the process. She has researched and/or been taught what to expect along the journey. She has shown an eagerness to understand the entire process. Knowledge and knowing what to expect makes her more relaxed and comfortable.
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